One of the most valuable things my husband has learned (and subsequently passed on to me – cuz we can only afford for one of us to be crazy at a time) in therapy is being present. Recognizing feelings and situations for what they are now – not what they were and not what you're afraid they'll be but what everything is right now in this moment. Working on this skill (and it IS a learned skill) has helped both of us in our marriage, parenting, how we relate to the other, and in life in general.I forget almost moment to moment but when I remember, I experience so much more peace…something I have struggled with my whole life. Peaceful is a quality I would NEVER attribute to myself. I think part of this skill has to do with the discipline of thankfulness. It's cliche but true – counting your blessings does wonders. I'm not saying it will solve your problems or make the shitty stuff go away or cause the clouds to part and the sun to come out. But for a moment – maybe even just a few seconds, it does help. So here's a little list for this moment. I am thankful for….
* the sunny, warm day after a string of dark clouds and spring snow
* a husband who loves everything about me and tells me all the time
* snuggles from my girls on the chair and a body that is healthy and strong enough to hold a VERY TALL 8 year old and almost 5 year old and squeeze the breath out of them
* a quick mind and useful skills (even if potential employers don't see it)
* lazy Sundays – the kids playing happily together, no theater rehearsals or shows for the husband, no job or chores for me
* my macbook, the internet and all the other things that make it possible for me to write this post and sustain fun and supportive virtual friendships My life is often far from what I imagined it would be and the struggles are many but right now, right here, in this moment, I am thankful.