parenting as holding the space

I want to be careful not to throw my weight around and unthinkingly wield my considerable privilege as an adult, because I know that his emotions and perceptions right now are just as real and valid as my own. Regardless of what our culture says, a child isn’t an inconveniently not-yet-finished adult but a whole person … even if he needs more help than I do. I know that someday I’ll be sick or elderly or hit with a big loss and I’ll find myself just as dependent on others as Noah is now–more so–and that my ‘independence’ as an able-bodied adult is an illusion anyway. He and I are not so dissimilar.

this is so beautiful, read it all


One thought on “parenting as holding the space

  1. I remember being 5 years old, sitting on the floor at the foot of my bed. I was crying so hard, and I made a vow to myself never to take my future children’s feelings for granted. To always respect that they felt grown up even though they weren’t. Which is actually pretty funny, because my mom always treated me as very grown-up. She didn’t baby me. I have no idea what led me to that moment, even. But I will always remember it, and other than times in my teens parenting my first child through terrible emotional distress, many years ago, I think I have lived up to that promise.

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