This is quite lovely and powerful http://sexloveliberation.com/men-horny-bastards/
I really like this article because it addresses the neuro-biology, behavioural science, etc. regarding porn without the value judgments. It also has some interesting information about men and women from the perspective of evolution, hormones, etc.
My oldest daughter is truly a spectacular human being, it’s confirmed time and again. Shayel (grade 5) has been spending a lot of time recently with a boy in her class. He’s extremely smart, a bit awkward and because of … Continue reading
Gottman found that all couples — those who are happily married into their rocking-chair years and those who divorce before they hit their fifth anniversary — disagree more or less the same amount. He found that they all argue about the same subjects — money, kids, time and sex chief among them — and that for the average couple, 69 percent of those disagreements will be irreconcilable.
really good stuff
Are David Duchovny, Tiger Woods and Jesse James all sex addicts unable to restrain themselves? Possibly, but probably not. All three men share high-profile images, power and a sense of male privilege intersecting with the general expectations of “real men.” Their problem is probably not sex addiction but the fact that they got caught having affairs with “tawdry” women that marred their images in the eyes of the public that supports their lifestyles by consuming the pop culture products associated with their names.
To claim sex addiction is a cheap excuse that invalidates actual sex addicts, assumes the public is foolish enough to buy it and puts wives into the position of being grudge-holders if they don’t forgive their spouses for being “ill.” It also distracts us from having a public dialogue that examines the social construction of highly sexualized images of masculinity in our culture, which lies at the root of most of these cases.
This is my general feeling about it.
Your spouse/partner is not a beautiful wooden puppet. He/she changes, grows, evolves and FUCKS UP REALLY REALLY BAD sometimes (like, growing nose, turning into an ass and getting eaten by a fish kind of fucking up). That’s called real life. I think at some point, in every partnership, you discover this and you are faced with the choice – are you going to allow yourself to grieve the loss of the fairy tale image and get on to the business of real life love or are you going live in denial that the fairy tale can continue?
Sometimes the choices we make are more lasting and deeply affecting than we think they will be at the time. It might help all of humanity (and definitely our intimate relationships) if we learn to make more thoughtful choices. Or as parents are inclined to tell their children – think it through sweetheart, think it through to the end before you make that choice.
It’s very surreal when an ex who you used to see as a bit liberal now appears practically a flaming fundamentalist. *edited to clarify – this is a change in ME, not my ex. From what I can tell, he’s pretty much the same on the “conservative liberal spectrum”, I’m the one who has changed ergo, my perceptions of others has changed.
Maybe I’m an old fashioned American with “unrealistic expectations” but I find this article really depressing and I want to keep my monogamous marriage ’til death do us part’ thank you very much.